Tag Archives: relationships

The Power of Transition – Severing Relationships (Part 1)

Time and time again you may have heard “let it go”! I have always wondered why does it seem so hard to let go of toxic relationships. Albeit, whether its friendships, business partners, or dating relationships, when it’s over, it’s over. Sadly to admit, even in some cases where marriages have ended in divorce (even my own) but I digress.

Time is the most valuable asset that we are given because it means we’re alive and we can either maximize it or waste it. The same as with the company we keep. Evaluate your “circle” and see what is it producing, how is it adding to your life or subtracting from it, and are you moving forward or not moving at all? Does your circle of friends motivate, encourage, support, or challenge you to be great? Or are they time snatchers that just want to “shoot the breeze”, always do the same old thing they have been doing for the past five years or more? Absolutely NOTHING! Do your own inventory! This is not a judgment call on anyone else but for YOU to judge your surroundings and ask yourself, “Am I being fruitful, productive, and plentiful?” Or “Am I withering away and just going through the motions?” I am in no way suggesting you cut off everyone in your life but for you to prioritize and take a good long look at where you are and what it’s going to take for you to get to where you need to be. Either you’re swimming or sinking.

Before you start chopping away, first, see if you can meet with your friends and be bold and honest about where you are in life and that it’s time for you to grab the reins and get to moving. Ask them for their understanding as well as support. Next, start saying, “NO!” sometimes. You owe no explanation for your journey, you just need to arrive! Lastly, but not least, pray and ask God to grant you wisdom in your transition in severing relationships that are no longer beneficial at this time (it doesn’t mean forever but for a season…your call). Also, ask God to give you wisdom and favor in connecting with those that are a part of His will for your life. After all, it’s not about you but about the mission being accomplished that God assigned FOR you that will serve someone else.

Stay tuned…we’re just getting started!

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The Power of Transition – Discover the Shift

Purpose brings about transition and transition brings about change. It is impossible to execute your purpose without action. The dictionary defines transition as: “movement, passage, or change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept to another…” All-in-all, CHANGE is the most misconstrued, misdiagnosed, mis-conceptualized, overlooked symptom of transition. Oftentimes one of the most stifling things we can ever do is MISS the season of transition!

How many of us have held on to jobs, relationships/friendships, living situations, and things knowing that it has not been healthy for you for a very long time? Even through my own personal experiences, (because of disobedience!!) not knowing when the “shift” had occurred in my life led me to make unwise decisions, my integrity as a woman and child of God was compromised, and it filtered into every area of my life and affected my prayer life, my relationship with Jesus, and I became distant from those who loved me most (THANK GOD for those who didn’t give up on me!”) I became frustrated, bitter, and grumbled and complained more than I praised and prayed. I couldn’t function in small areas and life became very uncomfortable. Transition will take you out of your comfort zone! **WISDOM ALERT!**

One of the ways to acknowledge that a shift is taking flight in your life is to get in a quiet place. FIND it! Quiet yourself down. Yes, you may be overwhelmed. You may have to cry it out. You may be frustrated but command your atmosphere. Here’s a simple prayer: “LORD Jesus, I need you. I need your help! In Jesus Name!” He hears the smallest of prayers. God will speak in the least to the greatest of ways. Now for those of you that are use to being in control (or so you think!) ask God to send someone in your life that can assist you with prioritizing your life and discovering those pain points that need to be addressed. Be expedient. More importantly be OBEDIENT! **WISDOM ALERT**

If things seem to be falling apart at the seams, pay attention to details, distractions, and disruptions…find the shift!! Think back 3-6 months ago and see where you were at that time and where you are now. Ask Jesus to reveal to you words and deeds that you have come into agreement with that does not line up with His will for your life. While the transition may be painful, it may give the illusion that you’re moving backwards, and it may not make sense…mediate of this: “For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord . “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11 NLT)

Stay tuned for the next blog “Power of Transition – Relationships!” This is always a HOT TOPIC so let’s journey through it together! If you have a question you would like to propose, please email i.motivatesolutions@gmail. Also, click the follow button to stay up-to-date, as well as my Blog Talk Radio Show, “The NeXt Level with Ms. Gina!” http://www.blogtalkradio.com/the-nxt-level. Twitter.com/TheRealMsGina Facebook.com/NXTLVel

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The Cry of a Woman

The cry of a woman is like that of no other. It is distinct and heavily weighed. Have you ever cried to the point of exhaustion? Have you ever cried to the point where your wail turns into a whimper because just when you think you’re all cried out…there is yet more? Whether you have experienced a lost of a loved one and/or the heartbreak of broken trust or betrayal…the cry of a woman engulfs the heart like a volcanic Tsunami! The feeling of drowning in one’s own ocean of heartbreak makes chances of survival seem despairingly obsolete.

Some may say, “you’re just too emotional” or “you have to put your emotions in check” but at that time you barely know how to bring your breathing under control and comprehend any form of reality. It’s like having an “out of body” experience because you become disengaged with what was once an active, vibrant life of “your normalcy” to now having your entire world flipped, turned around, and dismantled right before your eyes! Let me walk you through this metamorphosis:
•Physically: palpitations of the heart, nervousness, headache, swollen eyes from crying, stuffy and runny nose, stomach and back in knots, lump in your throat, hyperventilating and pure exhaustion. •Mentally/Psychologically/Emotionally: Comprehension of events seem surreal and is on automatic rewind in your mind. Sensitivity is on high alert. Caged inside for defense protection because everything and everyone “seem” suspect. You wonder in your thoughts, “how am I going to survive THIS?!” Numbness settles in, autopilot operation has kicked in, shut down transaction is now in progress. Emotions now turn “ill” motion because your heart (mind) and body (actions) are operating without your permission. Your thoughts are scattered and your once articulation of conversation has turned into the language of “Scooby Doo”.

Can I just keep it real with you? So before the suggestions of “pray to Jesus, go on a fast, and quote scriptures” start rolling in (while it should be the order of operation) I have to share my “reality” according to the book of Gina – Chapter One. I often shouted, “God, where ARE you? Can’t you see what’s going on??” I prayed and cried and rolled out scriptures expecting a supernatural miracle to take place and all my sorrow to be gone. Ha!! Right! Let me tell you what it did eventually do…as I continued the process of praying, crying, reading and reciting God’s word it drew me closer to Him even if my situation never changed!!

Now I know I shouldn’t leave you hanging like this so just tune in for part two…

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Just as Good!

Have you ever gone to the grocery store and needed to pick up a few canned goods? Whether you’re stocking up the pantry or preparing a meal, it’s always good to have a few canned goods on deck. Have you ever experienced picking up a canned item and find that there are a few dents in the can so you put it back on the shelf? Sometimes, those dented canned goods are placed on lower shelves and people will stretch to the highest shelf for that “perfect can” when what they are looking for is right within reach and “just as good”!! After all, what is important is what’s on the inside of the can, right? Hmm…

There have been times when I’ve felt like the can with a few dents along the way but with something good and valuable on the inside. But like the can, I have been dropped many times either on accident or by the careless act of someone else, and as a result, once the dent is noticed back on the shelf I go. Hoping the next time I am picked to serve my intended purpose. Some may refer to the term as “damaged goods” but isn’t that an oxymoron or is there a glimpse of truth hidden inside the metaphor?

I may have different “ingredients” and perhaps not one that is preferred by most but what I do know is that everything that God made was good! Perhaps my presentation is flawed or perhaps I stayed in one place too long and began to blend in with the other “cans” on the shelf because of being misplaced, mishandled, mislabeled, and misunderstood.

Little do they know, I’m right within reach and “just as good”…

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Pearls of Wisdom ~ Stand Guard

I am reminded of the scripture that says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” (Proverbs 4:23 NLT). When I sit still and think back on some of the choices I’ve made, with all of its best intentions, when it comes to the matter of “love” it has not always turned out favorable. That does not in no way cast blame on the other person because after all, each person is responsible for their own actions. The Bible, particularly in the Book of Proverbs, shares a lot about the wise and the foolish person. “Wise people think before they act; fools don’t—and even brag about their foolishness” (Proverbs 13:16 NLT). Trust me, I have found some of my own identifiers when it comes to being foolish. When you don’t choose to exercise wisdom or seek after it, your plans and everything in it will turn to folly. Ask me how I know!

I’m sure many of you reading this blog have experienced your heart being broken or disappointed and it feels like the healing will never take place. Your thought process is on repeat as to the turn of events and are in full 3-D in your mind and on surround sound. Many emotions are flooding ranging from embarrassment, hurt, guilt, shock, confusion, blame, anger, frustration, doubt, disappointment, betrayal, lack of peace, sadness, etc. The list can go on and on. I just wanted to plug in that you’re not alone and this too shall pass. “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds [curing their pains and their sorrows]” (Psalm 147:3 AMP).

*NUGGETS** – To the single ladies (this includes those dating too):
•Develop your own personal mission statement when it comes to relationships or dating. Find balance. For instance, every man that breezes into your life is not possibly “the one”. Yes, when you meet someone new it is always a breath of “fresh air” blowing your way in comparison to your last dating experience. How many times have you heard or even said that yourself? I’m not saying anything is wrong with it just put EVERYTHING into perspective.
•If your preference is to not be in the company of a man who drinks, smokes, and/or uses profanity, why make exceptions to your own “rules”? Why is THIS time ok? It doesn’t mean you’re being judgmental, it’s your preference.
•Don’t apologize for being who you are. Your personality is what makes you unique when you’re exercising good morals and obedience to God in regards to your personal relationship with Christ and overall being genuinely nice person. Don’t allow your meekness to be interpreted as weakness. When weakness is displayed, it’s like a silent alarm!

Take these small token of wisdom pearls and stand “guard” around your heart…Stay tuned!

Pearls of Wisdom…Life’s Lessons I’ve Learned

Today has been a very reflective day for me. Sometimes I am in awe when I think about how much grace God has shown to…me. When I think back to the times where I went my own way, thought I had it all figured out, when I made things feel right knowing that it was all wrong. Trust me; you KNOW when you’re either out of the will of God or preparing to cross the line. There have been times where I have sat before God and said, “I don’t understand why this is happening!” The toughest thing has been to ask God to show me where my error lies. It gave me the opportunity to acknowledge my faults/sins, learn from it, and teach others that are seemingly headed in the same direction I just came out of and as someone warned or advised me…chances are that person won’t listen because their heart and head are reversed just as mine was…I totally understand! Then there are a few far and in between that will take those pearls of wisdom and actually trust God to show them and exhale later when the truth of the matter comes to surface.

Young ladies, to those that are hopeful for promising relationships and praying for God to send “Mr. Right” – please let me share a few nuggets with you that may help save you from a lot of disappointment and a long teary night. Your heart is one of the most fragile attachments to your emotional state. It’s the core of who you are and where you find that you will weigh a lot of your decisions…trusting your feelings or your gut. Listen, that’s fine when you trust God more than you are yourself. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take” (NLT). Sometimes I stand back and ask God, “Who am I to share any words of wisdom when all else around me has fallen apart?” Then God reminds me of His grace and when I remember what I’ve had to go through to gain wisdom to share as my heart breaks for those that find themselves entangled in grief and despair…can’t see past the pain because it is suffocating their lives. I’m here to tell you God is MUCH closer than you think!

Here are just a few pearls you may want to gather for your necklace… “What you learn from them will crown you with grace and be a chain of honor around your neck” Proverbs 1:9 (NLT) and “Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding” Proverbs 2:2 (NLT).

Ø Take inventory on where you are in life. Do you have the time to invest in a relationship? Are you where you want to be in life? Are you pursuing your goals and ambitions? Have you sought after God for what your purpose is in life? Not having a clear vision or goal on what you want to do will certainly not become a priority when you start a new relationship.
Ø Think back on previous relationships that did not work out and challenge yourself as to the things you would do differently. Do you find that there is a pattern to the type of men that you meet? For instance, you meet men that are full of potential yet not doing anything about it. As you get to know him, how does his job/work history pan out? How consistent is he with following through commitments?
Ø You meet a gentleman and you’re overwhelmed with physical attraction that it overcompensates for the things you know you told yourself you wouldn’t put up with and yet you give in. If you want to see his level of commitment to you, KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED and just…watch. *NOT all men fit the profile of being a skirt chaser. There are some God-fearing men that really want to do it God’s way and they struggle with the same thing that you struggle with too.*
Ø Talk less and LISTEN more and the things that make you go, “hmm…” or perhaps you put a “mental check” note on something…LISTEN! Maya Angelou said it best, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
Ø I cannot stress enough how many times we hear “take it slow” and instead run full steam ahead…heading nowhere fast! SLOW DOWN! Like seriously, if he’s such a great catch, your opened legs will not keep him any longer than he wants to stay.

I know you’ve heard this a hundred times over…well, here’s one more time and if the shoe fits…girl, put it on and walk out your integrity! “Wise choices will watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe. Wisdom will save you from evil people, from whose words are twisted” Proverbs 2: 11-12 (NLT).

Stay tuned…I’m just getting warmed up!!!

The Fragmented Heart

A whole heart is strong, content, courageous, fearless, faith-filled, victorious, at peace, loves the LORD, and fully trust God. I challenged myself with this question, “Have I loved God with a whole heart?” Sadly to say, my answer was, “No.” Does this mean I do not love God? Absolutely NOT! When we allow people or things to enter into the most intricate areas of our heart it causes an immediate breach in our relationship with the LORD. Partly due to a subtle shifting that is beginning to take place. As I studied in God’s Word, “So if you faithfully love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul…” (Deut 11:13). God releases His promises of what He will do in exchange for a willing heart that will obey. He also declares, “Be careful, or you will be enticed to turn away and worship other gods and bow down to them” (Deut 11:16). God shares with us how subtle things can happen when we’re not careful…that moment when our attention is diverted. Little things begin to chip away at our hearts that ultimately the fragmenting process to take place. 

God is so serious about being the One to have our WHOLE heart. When I experience heartache or disappointment regarding matters of the heart — it is definitely time to do “self-inventory.” Please do not get me wrong – there is nothing wrong with loving others (we are commanded to love one another) – Love is BEAUTIFUL! Love is God’s handiwork – Love is God’s fingerprint – God is love! 

When there are intrusions of the heart God will never fight for position for what belongs to Him. He is our Creator. He waits patiently for our return back to Him. God will not allow NOTHING to separate HIS love from us but when we allow sin to enter in — WE break the covenant with our Creator! “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38-39). Thanks be unto our LORD and Savior, Jesus Christ. Our Redeemer — that with a repentative heart — He restores us back into a rightful relationship with the Father who starts the process of healing our “Fragmented Heart!”