Tag Archives: help

#DearMarriedWoman

This blog is for some of the #DearSingleLadies writers. I hope this blog encourages you in one way or another. As I too am single…as in not married. Rather in my case, no longer married. I stand as a defense for those that’s never been married or are divorced and patiently waiting. I’ve seen my fair share of #DearSingleLadies Facebook and Twitter posts that comes across rather strong and some down right harsh. I see very few share how hard it was for some of you when you were single and dating. No one shares how hard it was to not have sex before marriage or better yet how some struggled WITH having sex before marriage and everything else in between! See this posts isn’t in regards to EVERYBODY but just the far and in between that tell you “how hard marriage is”, “don’t be in a rush to be married”, and “it’s not all it’s cracked up to be”…however, these are the same ones that share all the wisdom-ologies of #TeamMarriage, #PowerCouple, #MarriageRocks, and #Marriage101. I’ll be the first to tell you that marriage DOES indeed take work, much prayer, and a roll of duct tape! Yes, duct tape because sometimes it takes everything in you to not say EVERYTHING you want to say! (I’m just saying ;))

Let me share on behalf of myself and other #DearSingleLadies that are hopeful of sharing in the beautiful unity of marriage that GOD created. See before every woman got married she was single…so what was your journey like? Now for those that didn’t date, gave herself wholly to the Lord, had no struggles with sex or the curiosity of sex and of the sort…I truly applaud you and YES…you were definitely a “KEPT” woman so this exempts you. But for those that strrrrrruggled, you had to fan yourself when you were flushed with heat and realized it was thirty-five degrees outside, you had one conversation going on in your head but your body was having another one of its own…tell the #DearSingleLadies how you “pressed through”! Tell us how you slipped and slid into places because you were too close to the edge with nothing to grab ahold of but that six foot frame. (Hmmm…) Please tell the #DearSingleLadies how he broke your heart, rejected you, manipulated you, and deceived you and then you discovered what brokenness felt like so you could understand what wholeness felt like. Please tell the #DearSingleLadies that you understand how frustrating it is, how tiring it is standing at the alter praying God sends you a good, faithful man and all its “benefits”. Feel me?

See, #DearMarriedWoman, some of my #DearSingleLadies need to know that we’re not damaged goods. It would be GREAT to see a post that reads, #DearSingleLadies “I’m praying for you today!” Help encourage one of these #DearSingleLadies that has given up and her heart has turned to stone and her body has betrayed her to take refuge in an illusion. Please tell the #DearSingleLadies how God can make all things new and ALLOW the process as God is building character, integrity, and smoothing out the rough places. I would try to fit it all in here but I might as well save it for my next blog…my own personal letter to my #DearSingleLadies!

#DearMarriedWoman, I know you probably mean well and your heart may be in the right place but please try and remember that words are better spoken from the hearts than from the lips.

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Letting Go…The Process (Part 1)

Many times you may have heard the cliché “Let go…and let God!” It’s usually at a time when there is great frustration, disappointment, a trial, discouragement, heartbreak/ache, and etc. What does “let go and let God” really mean? What does it look like? If there is a special formula to it, then why don’t many of us practice it? I mean like REALLY, REALLY practice it — before things become too overwhelming and out-of-control — before we do ALL that we can do — before we reach the point of exhaustion? Do we really walk victoriously as we proclaim during the walk in the wilderness? Do we really trust God’s word that He will fight our battles? Do we believe wholeheartedly that He will never leave us nor forsake us?

Through the many hardships that I have had to endure in this life of mine as I’m sure we all have and if you haven’t (as my grandfather would say, “keep living”). Most of us hang on to things that should have been let go a long, long time ago (*raised hand). Let me be the first to say “IT IS NOT AS EASY AS YOU THINK!” Some people hold on to anger, hurt, disappointing events that took place in our childhood, as a teenager, or as an adult that was very traumatic. It is definitely a process. Some things have been so suppressed in memory that it has been mistaken as forgotten or it has been “let go”. IF what you are going through or have already experienced hasn’t been sealed in forgiveness, prayer, and the truth of God’s word…I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news — IT WILL RESURFACE! God is the only one that can enable us to be able to “let go” — it’s a matter of the heart and He is our great Physician — our Healer. Let’s be candid – I’m talking about the deep, down, dirty things that are swept under the rug, such as abandonment, sexual offenses such as molestation and rape, infidelity, lies, abuse from your spouse or significant other. The list goes on and on…

There will come a time that in our lives that we MUST move on…but it IS a process. A process that I am still learning to put into practice in my own life. Sometimes I get stuck…it depresses, suppresses, and oppresses and you can NOT move forward in the things you should be doing so there is a method to the madness!

  • Prayer – “Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.” (1 Peter 5:7 NLT) Find a quiet place and for a few minutes just share with God what has been hurting you. Tell Him EVERYTHING–no matter what it is–He will listen! “But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I cried to my God for help. He heard me from His sanctuary; my cry reached his ears.” (2 Samuel 22:7 NLT)
  • Confide in Someone – Don’t keep it all bottled up inside–talk to someone who will LISTEN and share solid, Godly counsel with you. “The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.” (Prov. 27:9 NLT).
  • Journal – Write out your feelings is another way to express how you feel. Pouring your thoughts out on paper will definitely free up clutter from your mind. Be as transparent as you care to be. This is YOUR platform!

Wait! I guess you’re wondering…what about forgiveness? As Believers, we know that it is not an option. Forgiveness is a heart issue and a process within itself..Stay tuned for “Letting Go…The Process” Part 2 Forgiveness.