Webster defines aftermath as “something that results or follows from an event especially one of a disastrous or unfortunate nature consequence”. It appears that you may have lost everything; you do not know where to begin putting the pieces of your livelihood back together. What is life suppose to look like after you “let go”? What do you do next? After you have identified that there is a problem, an offense has occurred, and the results are in and it is not looking good…someone has gotten hurt and that someone is…YOU…that someone was also me. Heartache can leave you feeling emotionally paralyzed and motionless to the point you are only functioning by memory of what you do every day. Things look terrible. Allow me to share with you that there is life after the storm!
The clean-up of the shattered pieces leaves you with two choices: you can try to put things back together and the memory of everything is in distorted pieces or you can take a deep breath, let it out slowly, and trust God to restore you back to a place that will make you forget that you ever lost anything! “And I will restore or replace for you the years that the locust has eaten—the hopping locust, the stripping locust, and the crawling locust, My great army which I sent among you” (Joel 2:25 AMP). Whatever YOUR locusts have been in your life, believe God’s promise that He will “restore or replace” and God is not slack concerning His promises! Sometimes the storms of life that we face are warranted from the decisions we make and I can attest to that in my own life—that kind of restoration comes after true, Godly repentance. Do a “self-check” of your own life and ask God to show you any areas of un-repented sin and go to Him in prayer and seek forgiveness. If your storm has come by way of hurt, shame, brokenhearted, please forgive quickly, even when it hurts, and allow God to prepare your heart for restoration in the aftermath…BE FREE!
In my previous blog I shared “Forgiving Quickly” and that forgiveness is a matter of the heart. I know how hard it is to try to overcome when you have been disappointed, let down, and hurt and the revolving question that circulates in your head is, “Why?!” One thing I have learned is that you will no more get the answer to ease the pain than the individual has an answer to suffice their actions. I have been on that side of the fence myself. Just think back to when you were a child and your mom asked you, “Why did you do that?!” You looked up with tear-filled eyes and gave the infamous two-year old answer, “I don’t know.” Oftentimes that unanswered question renders emotions and sometimes you may be left feeling like it is your fault and there the emotional entanglement begins. So, what do you do??
You must find that pivotal point in your life…that LIGHT at the end of the tunnel where you reach wayyyy deep down inside and decide that you have a LIFE to live and let it go! Holding on to emotional pain and hurt is like trying to breathe underwater without oxygen – you will drown! I know it is hard to let go especially when it is someone near and dear to you…whether it be a dear friend, spouse, family member, or your child – you must release and let it go! If I may be a bit transparent, when I was experiencing heart pain and emotional entanglement I had no idea how to just “let go” because I was busy trying to figure out why and what happened? Things would play over and over and over in my mind because I wanted to know how, where, when, what, and WHY? I follow a young lady on Twitter that tweet some amazing nuggets that I would like to share with you. Please visit her website to read her blogs and you will be blessed! www.brittneymoses.com and @Brittney_Moses on Twitter.
“I don’t forgive people because I’m weak. Its cause I’m strong enough to know people make mistakes.”
“Unforgiveness is a testament to pride but to forgive is a testament to your ability to love beyond yourself.”
“Remember: Forgiveness is unlocking the door to set someone free and realizing you were the prisoner!”
“Forgiving someone does not mean allowing bad behavior to continue, it means not letting their bad behavior affect your life anymore.”
These are just a few nuggets from Brittney that confirmed for me that I was on the right track and now able to share with so many of you. This has been an ongoing struggle for me from past situations and past relationships that affected me in one way or another. One of the biggest struggles was the rejection of not having my father in my life. It was not until well after his death and failed relationships that I was able to ask God to take me to whatever the root of the problem so I can deal with it and MOVE ON! We’ll continue this in the next blog…stay tuned!
To forgive is a command from the Lord – it is not a request. The Bible reminds us in Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were (still sinners, Christ died for us” (NLT). Thank God He doesn’t hold our offenses against us (as we do towards each other). God judges the sin but forgives the sinner and extends His grace; with that being said, I have learned in my own walk that forgiving others sometimes becomes hard to do. In my wanting to obey the Lord, I found saying I forgive you and believing that I have are to different things. Forgiveness is a matter of the heart. If you want to see your heart pay attention to your actions when an offense has come your way and challenge yourself to see if you pass the test.
In my own bouts with dealing with a broken heart that left me shaken, broken, and hurt – I did not know what to do with the array of emotions that I was feeling on the inside. Confused, displaced, and lost as to which direction I should be going in…I could not understand (at the time) that the person’s actions had nothing to do with me, however; it affected me. I took ownership of the pain because it pierced me to my inner core. It is so easy to say, “I forgive you” than to “let it go”. It is a process for the healing but it will come sooner when equipped with prayer and faith in God for deliverance. Deliverance is just not for the unsaved, un-churched, or someone who has drifted from God but also for the spiritually wounded and broken-hearted. While it may be good to seek Godly counsel and prayers – go to the feet of Jesus for yourself – be hones about how you feel – and if it does not line up with the will of God; stay there and God will raise you up.
Forgiving will set you free. Forgiving will give you a peace of mine. Forgiving aligns you with the Father because of your act of obedience. It does not necessarily mean that the pain will immediately but the peace of God will comfort you in ways that will surpass your understanding and it will guard you…Forgive quickly! Stay tuned…
Many times you may have heard the cliché “Let go…and let God!” It’s usually at a time when there is great frustration, disappointment, a trial, discouragement, heartbreak/ache, and etc. What does “let go and let God” really mean? What does it look like? If there is a special formula to it, then why don’t many of us practice it? I mean like REALLY, REALLY practice it — before things become too overwhelming and out-of-control — before we do ALL that we can do — before we reach the point of exhaustion? Do we really walk victoriously as we proclaim during the walk in the wilderness? Do we really trust God’s word that He will fight our battles? Do we believe wholeheartedly that He will never leave us nor forsake us?
Through the many hardships that I have had to endure in this life of mine as I’m sure we all have and if you haven’t (as my grandfather would say, “keep living”). Most of us hang on to things that should have been let go a long, long time ago (*raised hand). Let me be the first to say “IT IS NOT AS EASY AS YOU THINK!” Some people hold on to anger, hurt, disappointing events that took place in our childhood, as a teenager, or as an adult that was very traumatic. It is definitely a process. Some things have been so suppressed in memory that it has been mistaken as forgotten or it has been “let go”. IF what you are going through or have already experienced hasn’t been sealed in forgiveness, prayer, and the truth of God’s word…I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news — IT WILL RESURFACE! God is the only one that can enable us to be able to “let go” — it’s a matter of the heart and He is our great Physician — our Healer. Let’s be candid – I’m talking about the deep, down, dirty things that are swept under the rug, such as abandonment, sexual offenses such as molestation and rape, infidelity, lies, abuse from your spouse or significant other. The list goes on and on…
There will come a time that in our lives that we MUST move on…but it IS a process. A process that I am still learning to put into practice in my own life. Sometimes I get stuck…it depresses, suppresses, and oppresses and you can NOT move forward in the things you should be doing so there is a method to the madness!
Prayer – “Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about you.” (1 Peter 5:7 NLT) Find a quiet place and for a few minutes just share with God what has been hurting you. Tell Him EVERYTHING–no matter what it is–He will listen! “But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I cried to my God for help. He heard me from His sanctuary; my cry reached his ears.” (2 Samuel 22:7 NLT)
Confide in Someone – Don’t keep it all bottled up inside–talk to someone who will LISTEN and share solid, Godly counsel with you. “The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.” (Prov. 27:9 NLT).
Journal – Write out your feelings is another way to express how you feel. Pouring your thoughts out on paper will definitely free up clutter from your mind. Be as transparent as you care to be. This is YOUR platform!
Wait! I guess you’re wondering…what about forgiveness? As Believers, we know that it is not an option. Forgiveness is a heart issue and a process within itself..Stay tuned for “Letting Go…The Process” Part 2 Forgiveness.