Today has been a very reflective day for me. Sometimes I am in awe when I think about how much grace God has shown to…me. When I think back to the times where I went my own way, thought I had it all figured out, when I made things feel right knowing that it was all wrong. Trust me; you KNOW when you’re either out of the will of God or preparing to cross the line. There have been times where I have sat before God and said, “I don’t understand why this is happening!” The toughest thing has been to ask God to show me where my error lies. It gave me the opportunity to acknowledge my faults/sins, learn from it, and teach others that are seemingly headed in the same direction I just came out of and as someone warned or advised me…chances are that person won’t listen because their heart and head are reversed just as mine was…I totally understand! Then there are a few far and in between that will take those pearls of wisdom and actually trust God to show them and exhale later when the truth of the matter comes to surface.
Young ladies, to those that are hopeful for promising relationships and praying for God to send “Mr. Right” – please let me share a few nuggets with you that may help save you from a lot of disappointment and a long teary night. Your heart is one of the most fragile attachments to your emotional state. It’s the core of who you are and where you find that you will weigh a lot of your decisions…trusting your feelings or your gut. Listen, that’s fine when you trust God more than you are yourself. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take” (NLT). Sometimes I stand back and ask God, “Who am I to share any words of wisdom when all else around me has fallen apart?” Then God reminds me of His grace and when I remember what I’ve had to go through to gain wisdom to share as my heart breaks for those that find themselves entangled in grief and despair…can’t see past the pain because it is suffocating their lives. I’m here to tell you God is MUCH closer than you think!
Here are just a few pearls you may want to gather for your necklace… “What you learn from them will crown you with grace and be a chain of honor around your neck” Proverbs 1:9 (NLT) and “Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding” Proverbs 2:2 (NLT).
Ø Take inventory on where you are in life. Do you have the time to invest in a relationship? Are you where you want to be in life? Are you pursuing your goals and ambitions? Have you sought after God for what your purpose is in life? Not having a clear vision or goal on what you want to do will certainly not become a priority when you start a new relationship.
Ø Think back on previous relationships that did not work out and challenge yourself as to the things you would do differently. Do you find that there is a pattern to the type of men that you meet? For instance, you meet men that are full of potential yet not doing anything about it. As you get to know him, how does his job/work history pan out? How consistent is he with following through commitments?
Ø You meet a gentleman and you’re overwhelmed with physical attraction that it overcompensates for the things you know you told yourself you wouldn’t put up with and yet you give in. If you want to see his level of commitment to you, KEEP YOUR LEGS CLOSED and just…watch. *NOT all men fit the profile of being a skirt chaser. There are some God-fearing men that really want to do it God’s way and they struggle with the same thing that you struggle with too.*
Ø Talk less and LISTEN more and the things that make you go, “hmm…” or perhaps you put a “mental check” note on something…LISTEN! Maya Angelou said it best, “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
Ø I cannot stress enough how many times we hear “take it slow” and instead run full steam ahead…heading nowhere fast! SLOW DOWN! Like seriously, if he’s such a great catch, your opened legs will not keep him any longer than he wants to stay.
I know you’ve heard this a hundred times over…well, here’s one more time and if the shoe fits…girl, put it on and walk out your integrity! “Wise choices will watch over you. Understanding will keep you safe. Wisdom will save you from evil people, from whose words are twisted” Proverbs 2: 11-12 (NLT).
Stay tuned…I’m just getting warmed up!!!