Monthly Archives: December 2011

Reaching Beyond the Break…

Life happens. Sometimes our expected turnouts of situations leave us speechless. If you’re anything like me, you become entangled in a cyclone of emotions with your thoughts engaged like a tornado spinning out of control. Your heart is filled with a massive cloud of worry, frustration, and its ready to flood like a Category 5 Hurricane. 

As with any natural storm, the storms of life also passes by. It eventually comes to an end. And as in most uncompromising situations you have to begin putting the pieces of your life back together. Sometimes you’re able to savage pieces of what were meaningful memories of your life and in other cases you will have to start over; as bittersweet as it may be…there is a brighter day beyond the horizon. 

Just like insurance coverage covers us in the event of an emergency, death, and accidents that is what prayer does for us. Prayer covers us and keeps us in direct fellowship with Jesus Christ. Jesus offers us His divine protection through salvation. Prayer does not guarantee that we are exempt from life’s storms but He offers His grace to extend peace that helps us along the journey. Ask God to give you strength and keep…reaching beyond the break!!

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The Day After…

The overwhelming joy of encountering love. The goosebumps. The stomach flip-flops. The suppressed appetite. You smile as that special someone name flashes across your Caller ID. There is a smile in your voice and you’re grinning from ear-to-ear but if only they could see it. Everything seems to be important to talk about. An hour on the phone seems like only fifteen minutes have passed. You had a to-do list that became secondary because the person became a priority, unintended. It feels to good to be true yet it feels “just right.” You find yourselves engulfed with talking about the future abstractedly, painting your dreams like a Thomas Kinkade portrait. Full of color and vivid imagination. Perfectly etched on the canvas of your heart hoping the other person sees it as clear as you do.

You find yourself talking about the past of what was and what you care to not go through again. You put the memory away with no chances of reminiscing about the encounter until now. You’re reminded of the pain although you have made peace with the past. You’re hoping the other person will appreciate the fact that you’ve conquered and won; the battle wounds are a simple reminder… or so we hope. You have now moved into the present and wondering to yourself, “Where is THIS going?” You try to calm the anxieties that are going on internally because you’re trying to decipher “hope” from “reality” so that you can stay grounded but the sensation of “Could it be?” overtakes your consciousness and you’re praying to God to speak clear so you can hear Him…but, oh to your own dismay your emotions are blasting like sirens! Drowning out the own inner voice. Shielding the things you should see. Time is suddenly moving at blur speed and you look back and ask yourself, “When did I arrive here?!” Your thoughts are contemplating in three and refusing to agree, “Yes? No? Maybe?” You believe and trust in what you feel and you plunge in the ocean of love in hopes to walk on the waves of everlasting. One day love makes an exit and what do you do…the day after?


Love is…

 

“Love endures long and is patient and kind…” (1 Corinthians 13:4). These words were chosen to be used interchangeably and on purpose. Webster Dictionary defines “Endure” as to undergo (as a hardship) especially without giving in: suffer or to remain firm under suffering or misfortune without yielding<though it is difficult”. Love is tested in ways that one never expects because love is supposed to be after all a beautiful thing. “Patient” is defined according to Webster as “bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint and steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity”. According to the definition we are to bear (be able to withstand) the pain and trials “calmly” and “without complaint”. If you are this individual, please take a bow. This has by far been the most difficult attribute that I have been able to attain => enduring hardship and patiently able to calmly go through trials that so easily besets me to the point of dissolving in my own whirlwind of shattered emotions. Lastly, we define “Kind” according to Webster, “of a forbearing nature: gentle”.    Through the hardship, pain, trials, and difficulties we are to still exercise being gentle. My conversations with the Lord usually go a little something like this, “Lord, help me with the emotions that are perplexing me. What do I do with these emotions of sadness, hurt, rejection, cast away, betrayal, and loneliness? How do I exercise this enduring process with patience and kindness? How do I suffer with dignity and with integrity when my flesh wants to react? How do I stop the flow of tears that seem to flow freely from me as I try to restrain? How do I walk out kindness when it seems unfair?”

I have learned through my many, many bouts of pain that it does pass. When we yield ourselves to God to heal us from pain and the difficulties of life that sometimes baffles us, we must trust that He heals! I have learned to take ALL my cares to the Lord because He cares for me (1 Peter 5:7). The Amplified Bible says this: “Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully.” Pay special attention the key word: “ALL”! Isn’t that worth running to the throne and pouring out your heart to the Lord? I will be the first to tell you that you may not feel any better about your situation and you may have to go back again and again to the throne, but each time you go back, please know that Jesus is interceding to the Father on your behalf. Reach a place within yourself that you will receive His peace that is so readily available to you. Ask God to grant you strength to endure, grant you patience to be able to bear these trials, and His will to walk out kindness. The main component is => FORGIVENESS. To love is to forgive and to forgive is to love. Stay tuned…blessings.


Dear Daddy…

I had a sparkle in my eye for you from the moment I appeared but the light grew dark because you weren’t there to catch it from the start. I couldn’t feel you lift me above your head and swing me around so I can feel like I was on top of the world not on the ground. When I started walking and I didn’t have you to hold on to, when I lost my footing you wasn’t there to kiss away the boo boo. Every time I saw the door open I would be hoping it was you so I could run and wrap my arms around your waist but instead it was of another that didn’t look like you, smell like you, or sound like you. He was unfamiliar to me. Every time the phone would ring and I would wait with expectancy, “Princess, telephone!” but instead it was the sound of bad news that bills were long overdue; where were you?

I looked outside to see my friends playing and riding their bicycles but because you never taught me how ride I walked alone as they rode by. You said you would come by to see me and promise after promise I still believed in you. At night I would be awakened with the sound of loud voices coming from down the hall, glass breaking, thumping, and pounding against the wall…or so I thought until I realized the strange person was my mom that I didn’t recognize because of the tattoo around her eyes. The unfamiliar person called her by names that were unbeknownst to me, what a shame! The eyes that look back at me made me take off and hide but where shall I run when there is no place safe to abide?

The years have passed by and there are unidentifiable voids in my life that has me on this quest to fill and the more I pour the more empty I feel. I avoid all reflective windows and mirrors because I don’t recognize the person looking back at me because all I see are the inner marks, bruises, and tears. What is beautiful – is unknown to me because you weren’t there to qualify me. I used my assets and precious jewels to open up doors for me when no one else would. I didn’t know the cost of love would cost me so much because you weren’t there to set the standard for the right one to touch…not with his hands but with a heart of prayer that avails much. I didn’t know just how much I was worth because I was cheapened with plastic roses, ill-rotten words camouflaged and followed by a calloused touch. You didn’t teach me what to expect so I modeled after what I could catch…on the television, radio, or by word of mouth until all of me was all washed out. Because you weren’t there to teach and guide me through…stay tuned as I come back with part two!